You should smile more…

Today I was called into a meeting at work because I don’t smile enough. I’m not happy enough. I’m not cheerful enough. Today, I was a victim of the same old sexist bullshit that plagues women on a daily basis. And the worst part? One of my so called superiors who was addressing this issue is female.

Now I’m not a person who pulls out the sexism card often, but today has really fucked me off. I’m lucky enough to have a friend at work who is very similar to me, who I can relate to; this friend is a man. At no point has my male colleague been told to “smile” or cheer up, so why have I? Does smiling affect my job? No. Am I rude? No. Does not prancing around the fucking maypole make me inefficient? No. I’m so sick of being pressured to live up to these ridiculous stereotypes that women must live our lives with a smile plastered onto our faces. Its bullshit!

Another “observation” is that I can be robotic. I work in an incredibly menial and repetitive job. So what do I do? I try to be human. What happens when I try to be myself? I get told to cheer up and be fake. I’m sorry – not at all sorry – but they can’t have it both ways. Sometimes I have a stressful day and I can’t bring myself to be a smiling, plastic Barbie doll. I won’t be anybody’sĀ Stepford Wife.

So ladies and gentlemen, my advice is to embrace the RBF (Resting Bitch Face) and raise your middle finger to the next idiot who tells you to cheer up.

Peace out, A x

 

 

 

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32 thoughts on “You should smile more…

  1. 100% feeling this! I actually had a subscriber tell me I need to smile more on my blog and cover up my dark circles. We never need to change in order to adapt to someone else’s standard of beauty or femininity.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. This happens to me all the time! It’s not my fault I have RBF and plus I’m not going to fake smile anybody. If my face makes anyone uncomfortable that’s their problem not mine. I’m always super polite and my RBF doesn’t affect my productivity. I can’t even fathom how people think its ok to tell someone to change their facial expression.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Just found your blog and I’m glad I did. I guess the take away is that your doing your job so well, the only thing they can complain about is that you’re not smiling enough. Hey..tell them a raise would make you smile! šŸ˜‰

    Liked by 3 people

  4. This. Oh my gosh this! I work in an all male environment and sometimes I don’t feel like being upbeat and I just want to do my job and get home to my pets and watch Netflix… And every time I’m feeling quiet I’m getting told I should ‘cheer up’ ‘smile love’, I wish I could believe it’s because they want me to be happy and concerned – but some comments are just plain annoying. Great post, can’t wait to get to know you more through your blog! Xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Don’t take it Hun! At a previous job I was running late sand didn’t have time for winged eyeliner, so not bothered really at all I made sure I got to work on time to then be told I looked like crap and that I need to make the effort on the mornings to do my eyeliner. Can I stress I also had a full face of makeup and this was a male. I didn’t stay there for much longer as you may have gathered. X

    Like

  6. I am all for encouragement, but the inequality is not acceptable. Interestingly, as a grad student, I get male professors that don’t smile and simply lecture and I get female professors who do the same, but hear complaints about the female professors that don’t smile and refuse to socialize. Why? The male professors do the exact same thing, why are the female professors expected to smile and socialize more than the male professors? Sexism! I see the female students complain about these female professors when they are females themselves. I don’t understand these standards set on others simply because they are a certain gender. I really don’t! I wish you the best and that may be something you want to point out to your female superior as a point of reference the next time they mention it to you. Perhaps keep a log of every time you were expected to act in a “womanly-feminine” manner and share it with us here on your blog. That would be an interesting study. Great post!

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  7. I realize the seriousness of your post, but “Does not prancing around the fucking maypole make me inefficient? No.” really made me laugh. You could contact Anonymous and they’d fix his sexist red little wagon. Seriously though, you should start looking for something else. It is probably easier said than done, but another year there, is a waste of your time.

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  8. UGH this rant is so true for so many females in the workplace. Sometimes I even find myself second guessing myself and thinking maybe I should smile more.. but then again why should I if other people (men, for instance) at work don’t smile and no one thinks anything’s wrong with that? I’m really surprised you would even get called into a meeting for that šŸ˜¦ I’m sorry you went through that but jeez… crazy! Good for you for speaking up and voicing your opinion #RBFunite haha šŸ™‚

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  9. People tell me the same thing constantly. I don’t think people realize that by saying “you should smile” is going to make you smile, like “oh thank you” (and smile). You be yourself!

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  10. Thanks for the lovely comment on my blog! I couldn’t figure out a way to @ you in the reply so I figured I’d check out your blog too and leave the thanks in this comment:’) I love that post by the way and good for you, standing your ground! If they don’t like it, screw them:) x

    Like

  11. YESSSSS. I would consider myself to be a cheerful person and tbh I’m happy a lot but I constantly get told that I look “moody” and that I look angry all the time and it really pisses me off! Embrace the resting bitch face!

    Like

  12. You were held up for not smiling, I was held up for laughing too much once… My boss thought it was ‘non-professional’ and ‘non-productive’….
    It’s like you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t situation..
    But I genuinely appreciate your comeback… RBF and Raising the MF! Damn… that’s how it should be!šŸ˜‚

    Like

  13. I get told this no matter what I’m doing! Haha. I too have RBF and I will carry on doing it (with and without knowing šŸ˜‰ ) Great post! Thanks for liking and following ā¤
    -Vinita

    Like

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